Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
handjob tips. give me some.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
