I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
