in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
