ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
