Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Yo dont text me then not text me
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
