Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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