So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
