apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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