But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
