You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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