Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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