and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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