Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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