Pants 0. Shit 1.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
