His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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