He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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