I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
