Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
no you cant smoke seaweed
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
