Define "chronic" masturbator.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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