Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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