on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize