My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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