Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
