Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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