Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We got so high we made milksteak
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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