When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
