I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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