Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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