We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
