only if we run a train.
done.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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