You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
