I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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