Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Say something about gay babies.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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