She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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