So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wish you could order shots online.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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