I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
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Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
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I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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