We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
