you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
is it fun? or sober?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
