Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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