i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
