I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
