so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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