I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize