Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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