just come out here and I will go home with you...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
