This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
