she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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