Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
