the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
