You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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