I met the friendliest cop last night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
