Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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