Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
