Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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