babies were throwing up all over the place
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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