Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
