If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
