dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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