Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
