it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
