I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
