your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
