Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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